I’m A Crunchy Mama and I Feed My Baby Formula

This crunchy mama is now supplementing with formula. ⠀

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I nursed my first for 18 months and it was a breeze - I enjoyed almost every second of it and she ate like a champ! ⠀

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Little man? Not so much. The very first time we nursed, I could tell his latch wasn’t the best. ⠀

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He ended up having a tongue and lip tie revised when he was a week old and again at 6 weeks. ⠀

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I spent hours researching, I saw a chiropractor, a doctor, and we had the lactation consultant come to our home 3 times in those first couple of months. ⠀

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When I’m determined to do something, I will make sure I find a way to do it! ⠀

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But sometimes our bodies or our babies have different plans. ⠀

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I thought after all that hard work we would be set! I never loved nursing him because it simply was hard and it just wasn’t the same as with my first, but I loved knowing that I could provide him the nourishment he needs. ⠀

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It seems easier to “whip the boob out” and I loved that I felt I could quickly comfort him. ⠀

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I brought him in for his check-up thinking everything was okay and turns out he isn’t gaining as well as he could be. ⠀

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They labeled it “failure to thrive.” ⠀

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If that isn’t a punch to a hard working mamas gut, I don’t know what is. ⠀

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After instantly feeling like a failure and choking back my tears in the drs office, I got us all back in the car and sobbed. The mother of all ugly cries. ⠀

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I felt as though I failed him and I also feel like I failed myself. ⠀

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Of course I firmly believe fed is best! ⠀

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I’ve coached over a hundred mamas on this very thing. ⠀

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But I was not expecting the flood of emotions that came with pivoting my plan. It takes time to grieve when we transition and have to surrender to reality.

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For the next couple of days, I cried. I also felt a slight freedom. Then cried again. I’ve never felt so sad and happy at the same time. I gave him pumped milk, but I knew at some point it had to be done. ⠀

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I took a long, hot shower and had a hard cry. ⠀

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Then, when Jacob was putting Evelyn down for her nap, I ripped the band aid off and did it. ⠀

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And guess what? ⠀

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We survived. ⠀

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I thought he’d be fussy or resist, but you can see how little man felt. ☺️⠀

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Mama, you are not alone and we are in this together. ⠀

I am SO thankful for the tribe of women who have supported me through this transition! ⠀

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I don’t really know what the plan is now - if I’ll nurse often or only once a day, or maybe soon we will quite all together. And that’s okay. ⠀

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Mamas, we are absolute warriors, and doing what is best for our little one, shows that we are the best mama we can be. ⠀

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Nursing. Bottle feeding. Pumping. It all can be so messy and out of our control. ⠀

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There are so many beautiful pictures on social media of nursing, but not enough of moments like this. The real. The raw. The change of plans. So thankful I captured this moment. ⠀

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Let’s normalize these transitions and make beautiful what society still seems to shame! ⠀

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Mamas, did you experience something similar? What is your story of feeding your little one? 🖤⠀

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#fedisbest #breastfeeding #formulafeeding