I’m A Crunchy Mama and I Feed My Baby Formula

This crunchy mama is now supplementing with formula. ⠀

I nursed my first for 18 months and it was a breeze - I enjoyed almost every second of it and she ate like a champ! ⠀

Little man? Not so much. The very first time we nursed, I could tell his latch wasn’t the best. ⠀

He ended up having a tongue and lip tie revised when he was a week old and again at 6 weeks. ⠀

I spent hours researching, I saw a chiropractor, a doctor, and we had the lactation consultant come to our home 3 times in those first couple of months. ⠀

When I’m determined to do something, I will make sure I find a way to do it! ⠀

But sometimes our bodies or our babies have different plans. ⠀

I thought after all that hard work we would be set! I never loved nursing him because it simply was hard and it just wasn’t the same as with my first, but I loved knowing that I could provide him the nourishment he needs. ⠀

It seems easier to “whip the boob out” and I loved that I felt I could quickly comfort him. ⠀

I brought him in for his check-up thinking everything was okay and turns out he isn’t gaining as well as he could be. ⠀

They labeled it “failure to thrive.” ⠀

If that isn’t a punch to a hard working mamas gut, I don’t know what is. ⠀

After instantly feeling like a failure and choking back my tears in the drs office, I got us all back in the car and sobbed. The mother of all ugly cries. ⠀

I felt as though I failed him and I also feel like I failed myself. ⠀

Of course I firmly believe fed is best! ⠀

I’ve coached over a hundred mamas on this very thing. ⠀

But I was not expecting the flood of emotions that came with pivoting my plan. It takes time to grieve when we transition and have to surrender to reality.

For the next couple of days, I cried. I also felt a slight freedom. Then cried again. I’ve never felt so sad and happy at the same time. I gave him pumped milk, but I knew at some point it had to be done. ⠀

I took a long, hot shower and had a hard cry. ⠀

Then, when Jacob was putting Evelyn down for her nap, I ripped the band aid off and did it. ⠀

And guess what? ⠀

We survived. ⠀

I thought he’d be fussy or resist, but you can see how little man felt. ☺️⠀

Mama, you are not alone and we are in this together. ⠀

I am SO thankful for the tribe of women who have supported me through this transition! ⠀

I don’t really know what the plan is now - if I’ll nurse often or only once a day, or maybe soon we will quite all together. And that’s okay. ⠀

Mamas, we are absolute warriors, and doing what is best for our little one, shows that we are the best mama we can be. ⠀

Nursing. Bottle feeding. Pumping. It all can be so messy and out of our control. ⠀

There are so many beautiful pictures on social media of nursing, but not enough of moments like this. The real. The raw. The change of plans. So thankful I captured this moment. ⠀

Let’s normalize these transitions and make beautiful what society still seems to shame! ⠀

Mamas, did you experience something similar? What is your story of feeding your little one? 🖤⠀




#fedisbest #breastfeeding #formulafeeding