Updated: Mar 7, 2019
How many times a day do you battle insecurity? Whether it’s our body image, job security, or the pressures society often puts on our relationships, it can be all too tempting to succumb to these doubts and fears we experience daily.
Well girl, let me tell you. Life is WAY too short for you to spend so much time doubting yourself. You were created to live your life whole-heartedly, trusting in all the beautiful qualities you have been blessed with, and using them to create greatness!
To move past the constant need for validation, we must choose to create habits that will help us increase our self-esteem and stop the cycle of negative thinking. This in turn will free up brain space, allowing us to spend our time thinking about things that truly matter to us.
Below are 7 strategies I use with clients and have used myself, to
help you break through any insecurities and live a more confident life.
1. Know Your Why
Girl, let me be clear. If the only reason you are working out and eating kale everyday is to get a flat tummy, it is not going to last. You deserve to feel your best for reasons that are so much more fulfilling than washboard abs and a lifted booty. If your body changes in the process, awesome. Don't let it make or break your day. You are so much more than measuring your worth based on how you look.
2. Affirmations In The Mirror
Why affirmations? When practiced in a way that works for you, affirmations can be highly effective. Psychology Today has an awesome article written on how to individualize this practice, which you can find here:
Write your affirmations on a stick-it note and put it where you will see them daily. Read the affirmation, then dare to look yourself in the mirror or write them in a journal as you say each statement with confidence.
3. Stay True to Your Morals + Values
There is such an empowering confidence that comes with trusting your intuition, educating yourself, and making informed decisions. You know right form wrong. Trust your gut! Taking the time to pause, be still, and listen to what your mind and body truly need, may just give you the validation you have been looking for all along.
4. Build Your Tribe
Have energy suckers in your tribe? Thank you, next. We have no time for that. Sociologist Nicholas Christakis of Yale University researched this topic and found that "if you start to become happier with your life, a friend living close by has a 25 percent higher chance of becoming happy too. And your partner is more likely to feel better as well. The happiness can even spread to people to whom you're indirectly connected."
Read more about how easily influenced we are by others emotions at Christakis article here:
5. Create a Support Team
Girl, I highly encourage you to hire someone that will help you sort through all the childhood hurts that may be the root cause of any pain you are currently experiencing. This is not the blame game, but rather, it is making the choice to listen to and nurture your inner child in order to fully own and understand your story.
Hire a therapist, wellness coach, personal trainer, chiropractor, acupuncturist, or anyone else you believe may help you heal. The more people you trust to have on your team, the more you will feel supported and learn effective, holistic ways to own who you are and heal from the very experiences that led to the cycle of negative thinking. This may give you just the extra boost of motivation + self-care your mind + body has been craving.
6. Become a Creature of Habit
You know how kiddos thrive on having lunch, nap, and activities planned in routine timing? Adults aren't much different. Maybe your routine is waking up 15 minutes earlier to write in a gratitude journal, making the choice to move your body daily, or making family dinners a consistent priority. Following through with the routines you set, creates security and confidence as you begin to see the benefits of your healthy habits unfold.
Entrepreneur Joel Runyan wrote a great article discussing how following routines can lead to higher productivity and success in your life. You can read more on Runyans article here:
7. Notice and Name
This is one of my favorite strategies, as with consistent practice, I have observed just how quickly it can reverse a negative mindset. Spend one week noticing your thought pattern- not good, not bad, just simply noticing any reoccurring, negative, or overwhelming thoughts. Once you feel you have developed an awareness of your mindset, spend the following week naming two positives for every one negative thought. For example a noticed thought may be "My belly is jiggly and therefore I'm not attractive." We can turn this into a positive by stating 1. "My belly has carried two beautiful babies. 2. “My core is the strongest it has ever been."
Alright girl, are you ready to create lasting change?!
I challenge you to now take 2 action steps:
-> Look at the above list and spend at least 5 minutes reflecting on how you are now going to break through the insecurity in your life.
-> Hold yourself accoutable by sharing your new habits with someone you trust - comment below, send me a private message, share with your significant other, or better yet, call up your best friend and encourage her to do the same.
You my friend, have a beautiful life worth living - free from any insecurities, or fearful doubts that hold you back. You were created to live a peaceful, abundant life, and I know that you are strong enough to do whatever it takes to get there.
Go get it, girl!