Oh, those beautiful, gorgeous bumps! It can be hard not to comment when you love mama and her baby so much. It also can be hard not to comment when you just feel awkward around pregnant women and don't know what to say. Although I feel like most of this is common sense, I'm going to leave it right here, just in case you need a little extra guidance around glowing mamas + their adorable bumps.
1. "Are you sure there's only one in there?"
I put this at the top for a reason. 1) This implies that we are bigger than we should be and don't even get me started on the pressures of carrying a baby a certain way. 2) Yes Jane, there is only one in there that I know of. If another baby was in there, I would be freaking out about carrying multiples and you would most certainly be hearing about it.
2. "You're definitely going early." OR "You're definitely going late."
Here's the deal. I feel like we shouldn't even be given official due dates, but rather due months. Some of us deliver all our babes 1 week early, some of us are guaranteed inductions because our little loves like to hang out for 42 weeks. That last month you can hardly wait to get babe out so please don't put a false date in my head!
3. ANY judgement based on a birth plan.
Exception: if you are a trained professional and discussing the birth plan with a patient or client. Otherwise, if any expecting mama feels comfortable enough to share her birth plan or desires for her birth with you, please give nothing but smiles and encouragement. She is about to shove a human out of her vagina OR have a major abdominal surgery, and the last thing she needs is your negative energy all up in her gorgeous, pregnant bubble.
4. ANY pressure about what you expect of her and baby after the birth.
If you have voiced any opinion about when you want to see baby after birth, trust me, I love that you love my baby. However, as noted before, I'm about to go through a physically and emotionally draining, life-changing event. If I choose to want some time alone with my little family after delivery, please respect that and don't take it personally. If I want you there right away, I will let you know!
5. "Wow, your bump is huge!" OR "Wow, your bump is so little!"
Following up with number 1, you wouldn't say comments about a woman's body if she wasn't pregnant (at least I hope) so why do you feel it's okay to say it now? Most of us expecting mamas are already very aware of our bodies and we have to work pretty hard at letting go of any societal pressures to look a certain way in our pregnancy. Even with the best of intentions, unless you are very close with the glowing mama, please leave your unwanted opinions about her bump + body to yourself.
Bonus: ANY comment about "getting her body back" after baby.
Ugh. People. PLEASE, as I mentioned before, us expecting mamas are fully aware of the state our bodies are in. Some of us gain little weight, carry confidence, and have a seemingly easy postpartum period where we swiftly resume back to a state we feel comfortable with. Others of us (me!) gain more than the recommended amount, are almost too aware of the changing body we are in, and take the good part of a year to get back in our jeans - or forever wear leggings which girl, same. Take it from a trained professional: yes, we should be healthy. Also yes, rest is THE most important way to heal your body in those sensitive postpartum weeks - not burpees, a magic supplement, or a crash diet.
Because I've always been a glass-half-full type of girl, I want to leave you with words that are totally in the safe zone because Lord knows we can use all the encouragement we can get. And sometimes its hard to resist commenting on those beautiful, perfect bellies!
5 Things You Should Say To A Pregnant Mama
1. "You are glowing/ gorgeous/ a beautiful pregnant person!"
2. "Look at that perfect bump!"
3. "How far along are you? Boy or girl?" Etc...
4. "How are you feeling?"
5. "You are going to rock this, mama!" Or any other words of positive encouragement about pregnancy, delivery, or motherhood.
I distinctively remember some comments that were made with my first pregnancy that just crushed me. Maybe it was a first-time-mom thing. Or maybe I just wasn't used to people speaking so openly about my body. Either way, I think I might start keeping this list in my back pocket to avoid any discomfort on either end in the future ;)
Ladies, what where things you couldn't believe you heard in your pregnancy, or what comments kept you feeling like the beautiful, glowing mama that you are?!